twinutero

Board games were a frequent antedote to boredom when I was growing up. (Occasionally, they were the source of boredom - as in the never-ending game of Risk.) But I didn’t consider board games for my kids until recently. Most of the ones on the market are recommended for kids at least 6 years old, but there are a few for 3 years old. The twins turned 3 last December. Here’s what we’ve tried so far:

Cranium Cariboo. Pricey and looks gimmicky. Not sure what I was thinking except I know other kids who have enjoyed Cranium games. This one is a treasure hunt where players have to match numbers and shapes to find hidden balls. When enough balls are retrieved, the treasure chest opens. I was surprised by how much the kids liked this game - and how quickly they rendered it a relatively useless piece of plastic (see photo). They also figured out how to open the treasure chest without the balls, removing the main motivation and thrill of the game. So? Good idea but too many irreplaceable parts to survive long with kids this age.

Knickerbocker Glory: A shape, colour and number matching game from Orchard Toys (UK). The kids love this game, often saying “Who wants to play Knicka Bocka Glowry?” The rules are simple and there are few irreplaceable parts. My kids have learned how to use dice and how to take turns in a game.

Insey Winsey Spider: Also by Orchard Toys and also loved by my kids. A little more complex than Knickerbocker Glory but still simple enough for 3 years olds. Losing is more dramatic however, as sad-looking clouds wash the earnest spider down to the bottom of his drain pipe.

I read in a recent issue of Today’s Parent (the actual article isn’t online) that kids are developmentally ready for board games at around 4 years old - but not ready for losing until they’re 5. That rings true in our house. It’s hard to Thomas to relinquish the dice if his roll means someone else will win. And with all these games, one person wins and all the others lose.

I’ve perused a few “cooperative” board games in eco-minded stores and though I like the idea, the ones I’ve seen have been a bit dire for preschoolers: saving the world from pollution etc.

I’m also intrigued by Games for Change which advocates and supports games for social change. Their only game for 3 years olds however, is based on the importance of goats to the village livelihood. Might be a bit of a cultural gap there.

Any stories, comments, recommendations? Games that inspire healthy competition or calming cooperation? Games worth the price? Free games? I love comments….

The toddler and preschool years are filled, it sometimes seems, with subtle threats.

“Stop right now or you’ll go to your room!”

“Share with your brothers or no more treats!”

“You be a good boy, or we’ll just stay home next time!”

It’s horrible to speak this way to a child and I try - try - not to do it. But parental calm stretches only so far, especially with two toddlers and a preschooler, and inevitably, idle threats tear through the room. Most parents do this, I like to think, in the name of teaching their children not to repeat bad behavior.

But what if these blunt tactics are completely useless? What if kids never learn from our negative quips? We’d have to start following our perfect parenting manuals, speaking soberly through tantrums and going out of our way to praise “good” behavior.

This parenting style is, apparently, supported by neuroscience. This week, Science Daily reports on research showing that 8-year-olds learn best through positive reinforcement; that negative feedback barely fires a neuron. In contrast, 12-year-olds and adults learn through the more complex strategy of incorporating negative response, figuring out what went wrong, and changing behavior accordingly.

It’s great to have science support the exchange of scolds for kisses. Still, it makes you wonder what to do when you’re hit in the back (like I was today) by a angrily thrown sippy cup.