Archive for the 'Learning & play' Category

How kids learn

Published
by
twinutero
on September 29, 2008
in Learning & play
. 2 Comments

The toddler and preschool years are filled, it sometimes seems, with subtle threats.

“Stop right now or you’ll go to your room!”

“Share with your brothers or no more treats!”

“You be a good boy, or we’ll just stay home next time!”

It’s horrible to speak this way to a child and I try - try - not to do it. But parental calm stretches only so far, especially with two toddlers and a preschooler, and inevitably, idle threats tear through the room. Most parents do this, I like to think, in the name of teaching their children not to repeat bad behavior.

But what if these blunt tactics are completely useless? What if kids never learn from our negative quips? We’d have to start following our perfect parenting manuals, speaking soberly through tantrums and going out of our way to praise “good” behavior.

This parenting style is, apparently, supported by neuroscience. This week, Science Daily reports on research showing that 8-year-olds learn best through positive reinforcement; that negative feedback barely fires a neuron. In contrast, 12-year-olds and adults learn through the more complex strategy of incorporating negative response, figuring out what went wrong, and changing behavior accordingly.

It’s great to have science support the exchange of scolds for kisses. Still, it makes you wonder what to do when you’re hit in the back (like I was today) by a angrily thrown sippy cup.

Rebuilding toys

Published
by
twinutero
on June 23, 2008
in Learning & play
. 1 Comment

Like most kids, ours want. They want juice, or cookies, or picked up. Occasionally, they want something new – desperately. Thomas is particularly prone to deciding that he must have this or that toy or he’ll be the most deprived child in history. To me, his wants seem random and irrational (he has enough toys to outfit a small daycare). Not so to him, of course.

I’ve tried several ways of discouraging this behavior. Explaining that he does indeed have enough toys to outfit a small daycare doesn’t make a dent. I’ve also tried keeping a list: when he wants something new, we write it down so when it’s time to shop, he can choose from all he desires. I’ve had some success with this, although we’ve never actually used the list to buy anything. He has always forgotten about it – which is the point.

The most effective and creative strategy, however is to make whatever it is he “needs”. He decided a few months ago that Lego Percy was necessary. (Percy is a train from the Thomas the Tank Engine collection; Lego makes a replica.) So we hauled out the Lego from the closet, built a green train and painted a number six, Percy’s number, on the side. He was happy.

More recently, Thomas decided that he wanted Sally, the female star of the movie Cars. He said “I want Sally,” just once. Then he said, “I want to make Sally.” I asked him what we needed to make Sally and he organized: an old Lightening McQueen car with only three wheels; a small Lego wheel to replace the missing one; some blue paint for the body; and some white paint for the face. (Cars cars have faces, like Thomas trains.) Not only was he perfectly happy with this rebuilt car, he initiated the rebuilding.

It’s not a complete victory against consumerism. He is, after all, still asking for highly-marketed, massed produced toys. But it’s a good start for a three-year-old.

What makes a picture book great?

Published
by
twinutero
on June 17, 2008
in Books and Learning & play
. 3 Comments

We have lots of picture books at our house – lots. Some are read once in a while; others are read constantly. So what makes a picture book great?

It has to appeal to kids (in our case toddlers and preschoolers) as well as to us, the parents who read the same book over and over. My informal survey and three-plus years of experience suggest three key ingredients make a picture book delicious:

1. Idealized illustration. Complete realism – illustration that looks like a photo – doesn’t seem to interest young children, but neither do pictures so wacky they’re incomprehensible or scary. Illustration with both sense and wonder works best. Jim Arnosky (Turtle in the Sea; Raccoon on His Own), John Schoenherr (Owl Moon) and Ian Falconer (Olivia) are favorites in our house. (And the original Olivia does it in just grays and red.)

2. Groovin’ rhythm. Kids seem to naturally grasp rhythm so a good one make a story memorable and fun. The best-loved example in our library is Rattletrap Car: “Flippita fluppita/ fizzelly sizzelly/ wappity bappity….” Pumpkin Soup and The Bear Snores On are close seconds.

3. Quirky imagination. Not logic, not even plot. The most elusive element to capture: what goes on the head of a three-year-old. Oliver Jeffers (How to Catch a Star; The Way Back Home; Lost and Found) does it brilliantly.

The classics - Goodnight Moon, Where the Wild Things Are, Dr. Seuss - have all of the above.

For more on children’s books see:

Horn Book Magazine, newsletter and blog…

Harold Underdown’s site…

Or send me your favorites in a comment.

Telling stories

Published
by
twinutero
on May 7, 2008
in Blogging & writing and Learning & play
. 0 Comments

We’ve been reading to our kids since birth. They all love a good story.

Thomas, now three-and-a-half, often requests elaborate, original stories before bed. “I want you to tell me the story of Mr. Jeremy Fisher [Beatrix Potter] and Thomas [the tank engine] carrying cheese and chips and apples-without-seeds to the party.”

A ploy to delay sleep or a genuine interest in convoluted narrative? Both I think.

Recently, we began asking Thomas to tell the stories. This is a natural progression but was also inspired by Tikatok, a site where kids can self-publish books, and by Stone Soup, a magazine written entirely by children.

He resisted at first, even though he tells tales to and about his trains all day. After a few tries, though, he was into it. All of his stories center around trains, usually trains carrying sweets or trains having terrible crashes. Or both.

We’ve also tried our own low-tech, three-year-old friendly version of Tikatok. Thomas pastes magazine pictures somewhat randomly into folded paper. I then ask him to tell a story about the series of pictures, and I write down his words.

This has been great insight into my preschooler’s imagination. On one hand, anything can happen, and any series of pictures can be a story. There’s no right or wrong (at least logically). On the other hand, it seems there are a few strict rules of his own making.

He goes to preschool on the “Polar Express” for instance. The train picks him up and drops him off at the station. The conductor drives the train. So one day I asked Thomas if the conductor could make him a ham sandwich when we arrived at the station.

“Noooo! You’re not the conductor. You’re Mommy.”

“Okay. Can Mommy make you a ham sandwich?”

“Yes, after the conductor brings us to the station.”

Keeps me on my toes.

Parenting tips by Eskom

Published
by
twinutero
on April 26, 2008
in Learning & play and South Africa
. 0 Comments

Eskom is South Africa’s state-owned electricity company. The company people love to hate.

In January, Eskom began “load-shedding”, or rolling blackouts. This is meant to protect the electricity grid by reducing demand. It regularly throws large areas of the country into darkness.

Nevermind that many residents of South Africa have never had, or have only recently acquired electricity. Load shedding seems to be causing serious irritation among those accustomed to reliable power.

But consider the up side.

Our household power is cut once a week in the early morning. The kids wake up to darkness.

“I want to watch Noddy,” announces Alex, looking expectantly at the TV.

“No! Power off,” says Jon.

One minute later:

“I want Wheels on the Bus,” announces Jon, pointing at the CD player.

“No! Power off,” says Alex.

And on we go, reviewing all the things that need – and don’t have – electricity.

During our weekly share of load shedding, the kids have learned:

  • That lights, TV, music and the toaster need power to work, but the gas stove (source of Mom’s coffee) does not;
  • Not to touch candles;
  • How to blow out candles – without touching them;
  • That flashlights pointed at the ceiling look just like the moon;
  • That 6 o’clock is followed by 7 and 8 o’clock, when the power returns;
  • That it gets light outside at 7 o’clock;
  • That reading, playing and staying in bed do not require power.

So, load shedding is a pain – and points to larger problems in South Africa – but still, that’s a lot of learning in two dark hours.