twinutero

The holiday season is here, and as much as I wish the world were less materialistic, most parents, myself included, will likely be buying toys. There are lots of “best toy” sites to direct shopping. Here’s mine.

1. Ikea wooden train tracks. By far, this has been the best entertainment value for money in our house. The tracks are compatible with Brio and Thomas sets, but are much, much cheaper. We’ve supplemented with a few extra Thomas pieces and trains to make the set more interesting. So many toys advertise that they supply “hours and hours” of fun. This one really does.

2. Other Ikea toys. Actually, you can’t go too far wrong with any Ikea toys. Our kids love the tent, the pots and the wooden stacking blocks.

3. Baby Einstein Alphabooks. A box of 26 short books, one for each letter of the alphabet. There’s no text – only the sort of engaging pictures that have made Baby Einstein famous. Jon has dragged this box around the house for months and, for a boy just two, has learned a surprising number of letters and words. Not that Baby Einstein needs any extra advertising, but this is definitely a “best toy” in Jon’s world.

4. Playskool Spin Arcade. When our wonderful Aunt Sam bought this for the twins, we were skeptical. When we flipped the “on” switch, we were repelled. But Sam has a way of choosing toys, and this one turned out to be a favorite. When the twins were just learning to stand, they would pull themselves up, press the buttons, and chase the balls. When the novelty wore off, they put other objects on the spinner – bottles, cars, spoons – and watch the result with intense curiousity. Experimentation at one year old.

5. Cars. Thomas loves trains; Alex loves cars. We have a few second-hand garages and a bucket of toy cars. He sorts, arranges, then resorts and rearranges. No batteries (and not much money) required.

Something that connects my previous posts on toxic substances and outdoor activities: the garden hose. I bought a new one last week so I could water the garden and fill the kids’ wading pool without dodging spray from the various holes in our old hose.

The new one worked wonderfully. As I was gathering the packaging for recycling, however, I read the back of the label. It carried the following warning, “This product contains one or more chemicals known to the State of California to cause cancer, birth defects or other reproductive harm. Wash hands after handling.” The warning lends a whole new meaning the company’s slogan, “The last hose you’ll ever buy.”

I searched the web and learned that most garden hoses carry similar warnings, and unless it is clearly stated otherwise, they are not designed for drinking. Adults generally don’t drink from the hose. Kids, on the other hand, can’t resist. Even if they don’t slurp from the hose, they gulp from the pool. Once again, lead is the culprit. It leaches from the polyvinyl chloride (PVC) used to make most garden hoses. I suspect that the fungicides used to protect hoses from rotting also contributes to their carcinogenicity.

Here are a couple of good websites on the topic:
Consumer Reports. 2003. Dare you drink from a garden hose?

Ann Lovejoy. June 2007. Do you know what’s really in that hose? Seattle Post Intelligencer

Both of these sites are based on U.S. information. I went in search of a “safe for drinking” garden hose here in Canada. The major hardware box-stores (Home Depot, Rona, Canadian Tire) had no idea what I was talking about. Locally owned shops (an environmental store, an organic gardening center, and our neighbourhood hardware store) were no wiser. I checked the labels on half-a-dozen hoses for sale in these shops. All carried warnings against drinking – and all of the warnings were printed on the back of the label (which I had to rip off to read). It is unlikely that anyone would see this before buying, if at all.

I finally found a drinking-water safe, FDA-approved hose at a marine supply shop. The hose is meant for RVs and boats but works just as well for the garden. About thirty seconds after hooking up and turning on our new non-toxic hose, the water was flowing straight into Jon’s mouth….

Okay. Enough on toxins. My next post is on family mealtimes. With three kids under three years old, the only thing toxic about mealtimes is the dining room floor.

On a bitter, rainy day last March, I began dreaming of spring and became desperate to get out of the house. I had all three kids: Alex and Jon, then 16 months, and Thomas, two-and-a-half. Where could we go to burn off toddler energy and get a much-needed change of scenery? I decided to try one of the indoor “adventure playlands” on the outskirts of our city. I had never been, but had heard from other parents that it was safe, children loved it, and that I could probably just relax as the kids explored tunnels, climbed the jungle gyms, and slid into pits of balls.

Apparently, every parent in the city had the same idea that day. There must have been forty thousand kids in that playland, all running, yelling and jumping. I was overwhelmed. Thomas and the twins were overwhelmed. I scurried around like a complete obsessive, trying to track the three of them. Thomas still got lost – twice. I found him crying face-down on the carpet. Alex and Jon could negotiate the ramps, tunnels and slides, but really, really hated the ball pits where all ramps, tunnels and slides seemed to end. I couldn’t blame them. The pits were alive with kicking, flailing toddler limbs, and were very difficult to exit.

After an hour or so, I corralled the boys back into the stroller. They were exhausted and not unhappy to be leaving. I was a mess, and thrilled to be out of there.

This never-to-be-repeated experience coincided, ironically, with my discovery of Last Child in the Woods, a book by Richard Louv. The subtitle of the book is Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder. Louv describes how kids are becoming dissociated from everything wild and green. Play is moving indoors or into bordered areas and structured activities where it can be constantly monitored for safety. Some schools are even shortening recess in favour of more “productive” time inside. Louv objects to this trend and so do I. The book is at once compelling, alarming and obvious. It is part of a growing literature and movement toward environmental education, schoolyard greening, and more unstructured play for kids.

I do, however, have three words to add to this conversation:
Winter.
Toddlers.
Multiples.

I would love for my kids to enthusiastically explore the outdoors. While I wouldn’t set any toddler free in a forest or vacant urban lot, I agree with Louv that even very young children benefit from being outside, free to roam, touch, fall down and get up again. The problem with having three kids under three years old, is that they tend to roam in three different directions. It’s almost impossible for one adult to take three toddlers to an unenclosed area, safely.

Thomas is almost 32 months old now. He knows to stop at street corners, to stay on the sidewalk, and to turn around when I say so. But I wouldn’t bet his life on him following directions while I run after his younger brothers. I know a nanny who cares for toddler twins and refuses to leave the house at all. It seems extreme, but toddlers get restless in a stroller and are very hard to herd when they’re on the loose.

Even with two adults, it can be challenging to keep track of three young children. We recently took our kids to a nearby farm. They loved it, but the day was not without minor trauma. Jon fell head-first off the bunny observation stool; Thomas lathered himself in fresh cow dung; Alex massaged his gums on the animal enclosures. All of this happened while we were trying to prevent a similar or worse event.

I am hoping that outdoor adventure, summer and winter, will get easier as the kids get older. Last year, the twins were immobilized by their snow gear, and even Thomas was frustrated by cumbersome mittens. (It’s surprisingly hard to get toddlers’ thumbs into the right section of the mitt, and trying to play without an opposable thumb inevitably leads to tears.) I have not-too-distant plans to teach them to skate, ski and build snow caves. I hope to take Thomas camping this summer, and get all three kids into the backcountry before long.

For now, I am limited by the number of available hands, and our urban location. Limited, but not incapacitated. We’re lucky enough to have a fenced-in backyard where the kids can play almost independently. I am teaching them about the garden. Thomas has helped to plant seeds and transplant seedlings, and he knows where to find berries and bugs.* We have a bird feeder. Alex often asks to see the “boods”, and Thomas can recognise chickadees and cardinals. And, often to my own, short-term, detriment, I don’t discourage them from splashing in puddles, playing in the dirt or feeding the garden ants. It’s not wilderness, but for now, it’s wild enough for me.

*An inspiring book for gardening with kids is Roots, Shoots, Buckets and Boots by Sharon Lovejoy.