twinutero

On a bitter, rainy day last March, I began dreaming of spring and became desperate to get out of the house. I had all three kids: Alex and Jon, then 16 months, and Thomas, two-and-a-half. Where could we go to burn off toddler energy and get a much-needed change of scenery? I decided to try one of the indoor “adventure playlands” on the outskirts of our city. I had never been, but had heard from other parents that it was safe, children loved it, and that I could probably just relax as the kids explored tunnels, climbed the jungle gyms, and slid into pits of balls.

Apparently, every parent in the city had the same idea that day. There must have been forty thousand kids in that playland, all running, yelling and jumping. I was overwhelmed. Thomas and the twins were overwhelmed. I scurried around like a complete obsessive, trying to track the three of them. Thomas still got lost – twice. I found him crying face-down on the carpet. Alex and Jon could negotiate the ramps, tunnels and slides, but really, really hated the ball pits where all ramps, tunnels and slides seemed to end. I couldn’t blame them. The pits were alive with kicking, flailing toddler limbs, and were very difficult to exit.

After an hour or so, I corralled the boys back into the stroller. They were exhausted and not unhappy to be leaving. I was a mess, and thrilled to be out of there.

This never-to-be-repeated experience coincided, ironically, with my discovery of Last Child in the Woods, a book by Richard Louv. The subtitle of the book is Saving Our Children from Nature-Deficit Disorder. Louv describes how kids are becoming dissociated from everything wild and green. Play is moving indoors or into bordered areas and structured activities where it can be constantly monitored for safety. Some schools are even shortening recess in favour of more “productive” time inside. Louv objects to this trend and so do I. The book is at once compelling, alarming and obvious. It is part of a growing literature and movement toward environmental education, schoolyard greening, and more unstructured play for kids.

I do, however, have three words to add to this conversation:
Winter.
Toddlers.
Multiples.

I would love for my kids to enthusiastically explore the outdoors. While I wouldn’t set any toddler free in a forest or vacant urban lot, I agree with Louv that even very young children benefit from being outside, free to roam, touch, fall down and get up again. The problem with having three kids under three years old, is that they tend to roam in three different directions. It’s almost impossible for one adult to take three toddlers to an unenclosed area, safely.

Thomas is almost 32 months old now. He knows to stop at street corners, to stay on the sidewalk, and to turn around when I say so. But I wouldn’t bet his life on him following directions while I run after his younger brothers. I know a nanny who cares for toddler twins and refuses to leave the house at all. It seems extreme, but toddlers get restless in a stroller and are very hard to herd when they’re on the loose.

Even with two adults, it can be challenging to keep track of three young children. We recently took our kids to a nearby farm. They loved it, but the day was not without minor trauma. Jon fell head-first off the bunny observation stool; Thomas lathered himself in fresh cow dung; Alex massaged his gums on the animal enclosures. All of this happened while we were trying to prevent a similar or worse event.

I am hoping that outdoor adventure, summer and winter, will get easier as the kids get older. Last year, the twins were immobilized by their snow gear, and even Thomas was frustrated by cumbersome mittens. (It’s surprisingly hard to get toddlers’ thumbs into the right section of the mitt, and trying to play without an opposable thumb inevitably leads to tears.) I have not-too-distant plans to teach them to skate, ski and build snow caves. I hope to take Thomas camping this summer, and get all three kids into the backcountry before long.

For now, I am limited by the number of available hands, and our urban location. Limited, but not incapacitated. We’re lucky enough to have a fenced-in backyard where the kids can play almost independently. I am teaching them about the garden. Thomas has helped to plant seeds and transplant seedlings, and he knows where to find berries and bugs.* We have a bird feeder. Alex often asks to see the “boods”, and Thomas can recognise chickadees and cardinals. And, often to my own, short-term, detriment, I don’t discourage them from splashing in puddles, playing in the dirt or feeding the garden ants. It’s not wilderness, but for now, it’s wild enough for me.

*An inspiring book for gardening with kids is Roots, Shoots, Buckets and Boots by Sharon Lovejoy.