Rebuilding toys

Published
by
twinutero
on June 23, 2008
in Learning & play
. 1 Comment

Like most kids, ours want. They want juice, or cookies, or picked up. Occasionally, they want something new – desperately. Thomas is particularly prone to deciding that he must have this or that toy or he’ll be the most deprived child in history. To me, his wants seem random and irrational (he has enough toys to outfit a small daycare). Not so to him, of course.

I’ve tried several ways of discouraging this behavior. Explaining that he does indeed have enough toys to outfit a small daycare doesn’t make a dent. I’ve also tried keeping a list: when he wants something new, we write it down so when it’s time to shop, he can choose from all he desires. I’ve had some success with this, although we’ve never actually used the list to buy anything. He has always forgotten about it – which is the point.

The most effective and creative strategy, however is to make whatever it is he “needs”. He decided a few months ago that Lego Percy was necessary. (Percy is a train from the Thomas the Tank Engine collection; Lego makes a replica.) So we hauled out the Lego from the closet, built a green train and painted a number six, Percy’s number, on the side. He was happy.

More recently, Thomas decided that he wanted Sally, the female star of the movie Cars. He said “I want Sally,” just once. Then he said, “I want to make Sally.” I asked him what we needed to make Sally and he organized: an old Lightening McQueen car with only three wheels; a small Lego wheel to replace the missing one; some blue paint for the body; and some white paint for the face. (Cars cars have faces, like Thomas trains.) Not only was he perfectly happy with this rebuilt car, he initiated the rebuilding.

It’s not a complete victory against consumerism. He is, after all, still asking for highly-marketed, massed produced toys. But it’s a good start for a three-year-old.

What makes a picture book great?

Published
by
twinutero
on June 17, 2008
in Books and Learning & play
. 3 Comments

We have lots of picture books at our house – lots. Some are read once in a while; others are read constantly. So what makes a picture book great?

It has to appeal to kids (in our case toddlers and preschoolers) as well as to us, the parents who read the same book over and over. My informal survey and three-plus years of experience suggest three key ingredients make a picture book delicious:

1. Idealized illustration. Complete realism – illustration that looks like a photo – doesn’t seem to interest young children, but neither do pictures so wacky they’re incomprehensible or scary. Illustration with both sense and wonder works best. Jim Arnosky (Turtle in the Sea; Raccoon on His Own), John Schoenherr (Owl Moon) and Ian Falconer (Olivia) are favorites in our house. (And the original Olivia does it in just grays and red.)

2. Groovin’ rhythm. Kids seem to naturally grasp rhythm so a good one make a story memorable and fun. The best-loved example in our library is Rattletrap Car: “Flippita fluppita/ fizzelly sizzelly/ wappity bappity….” Pumpkin Soup and The Bear Snores On are close seconds.

3. Quirky imagination. Not logic, not even plot. The most elusive element to capture: what goes on the head of a three-year-old. Oliver Jeffers (How to Catch a Star; The Way Back Home; Lost and Found) does it brilliantly.

The classics - Goodnight Moon, Where the Wild Things Are, Dr. Seuss - have all of the above.

For more on children’s books see:

Horn Book Magazine, newsletter and blog…

Harold Underdown’s site…

Or send me your favorites in a comment.

Re-thinking blogging and exploitation

Published
by
twinutero
on June 5, 2008
in Blogging & writing
. 0 Comments

Since I first wrote on this topic, my thoughts - and public discussion - have evolved. I still feel strongly about children’s privacy and their right to be aware, at least, of what is written about them. Mine aren’t old enough to read or understand the concept of publishing, but I will continue to write as if they were. I will not post photos, use their real names, or write anything I’m not prepared discuss with them now or later.

I have, however, been swayed by some of the growing argument. Dooce wrote a persuasive, somewhat defensive, response to accusations that she is exploitative. She argues that her blog is a “love letter” to her daughter. I don’t buy that. Love letters can be kept in a drawer. I don’t think they’re more loving for being read worldwide.

She also argues that sharing stories of motherhood openly and honestly is essential for building community, camaraderie and confidence among mothers, and that blogged children just might, eventually, be proud of their mothers for creating a movement. That, I’ll buy. Mommy-blogging isn’t all self-indulgence and pride. We learn from each other and the web is a powerful and expedient way share.

Still, I think it can – and should – be done with sensitivity and without photos. Imagine all of these children growing up to write new blogs about their aging parents, complete with candid photos of us in our jammies, playing solitaire at the retirement home. I mean, there is a community of adults who look after their parents, and they have much to learn from each other too. We would expect sensitivity and discretion when writing about the elderly, and we should expect the same when writing about kids.

Rachel Paskan wrote a beautiful essay on Babble about exploiting her daughter for art. Paskan acknowledges that her daughter influences the characters she creates, even indirectly, and seems sobered by her daughter’s recent awareness.

I’m sure my thoughts - and the larger discussion - will continue to evolve. No doubt there are Phd dissertations being tapped out right now. In the meantime, I’ll keep blogging here and now on the MotherVerse blog as well.

(Thanks to Andrea at Remains of the Day for the link to Dooce - I don’t generally read it!)

ICP - and lemon

Published
by
twinutero
on May 26, 2008
in Pregnancy
. 0 Comments

ICP is intrahepatic cholestasis of pregnancy. It’s a condition that can develop in the mother when bile flow within the liver is blocked. It usually occurs in the third trimester and the main symptom is intense itching. ICP is not dangerous for the mother but can be very dangerous, even fatal, for the baby. Early delivery is usually recommended. ICP occurs more frequently in multiple births, and is likely to recur in subsequent pregnancies.

I was diagnosed with ICP in my first pregnancy with Thomas. At about 35 weeks gestation, I started scratching. I would scratch my palms, lower legs and feet all day – and sometimes during the night to the point of bleeding. My doctor did not think there was a problem, but I (as patients do) researched online and made my own diagnosis of ICP. That was confirmed with blood tests.

As a result, Thomas was induced at 40 weeks. It was his “due date” but he was clearly not ready to greet the world. The induction was long - long - and very painful. I don’t think it was the best for Thomas or for me (or my husband who helped us through it). Failing to induce, however, could have been much, much worse.

Because ICP is recurrent and more likely in multiple pregnancies, I expected its return when carrying Alex and Jon. Sure enough, at the beginning of the third trimester, I started to itch and was diagnosed with early ICP. I was doing all I could to prevent pre-term delivery of the twins and I did not want ICP to result in another induction.

So I started drinking fresh lemon juice every morning. This is a naturopathic treatment for the liver in general. I figured it couldn’t hurt for ICP either. Every morning before eating or drinking anything else, I’d squeeze a full lemon into a glass and add about an inch of water, and down it. I’d wait an hour before eating.

There’s no medical evidence for this treatment (that I know of) but my weekly blood tests showed that my liver function had improved. In fact, my bile acid and liver enzyme levels returned to normal. The nurse commented that she never before seen such a reversal.

With all symptoms gone, I let up on the lemon juice. ICP returned. I went back on the lemon juice and managed to keep ICP in check until 38 and a half weeks when the twins were born.

To emphasize, I have no proof that lemon juice stalls ICP, and it is definitely not a substitute for medical attention. But as my nurse said, it can’t hurt and if it helps so much the better for you and your baby.

Check these links for more information.
Itchy Moms
Mayo Clinic

This week in South Africa

Published
by
twinutero
on May 23, 2008
in South Africa
. 0 Comments

It’s impossible to write from South Africa this week and not comment on the violence that has flared in the country.

When we arrived in South Africa last January, the people I met were friendly and welcoming. Those same people, however, were surprised and curious as to why a Canadian family would move to South Africa, when so many South Africans were looking to emigrate to Canada and elsewhere.

That exodus seems much more likely now. And, of course, thousands of immigrants are fleeing.

I’ve only lived here four months and I don’t get out much, but based on the people I’ve talked to, frustration in this country is chronic. Frustration that life for everyone isn’t better. People seem worried about the future, especially for their children, and are unsettled by political and social uncertainty – a feeling that anything can happen. Yet everyone says, with a shake of their head, what a beautiful country this is.

People I’ve spoken to this week are deeply, profoundly disturbed by the violence. There’s much discussion of root causes and possible solutions but also a consensus that nothing excuses violence.

So I’m adding my voice to countless who condemn violence, apathy and intolerance. And if I’m on edge about the safety of my family, my heart goes out to all mothers in more vulnerable places this week.